I squirm when addressing this topic of Loneliness Loneliness affects the young, the old, the rich and the poor. According to an article by Kendra Cherry, "loneliness is actually a state of mind... it's about feeling alone and isolated."
Can you look at another and assume they must be lonely? The person sitting in the movie theater alone... the person sitting in a restaurant eating alone. How about the cousin attending their family reunion or a husband who is part of a 25 year marriage? What is the face of lonely?
The face of lonely may be hanging out in a room of 100 or may be sitting home alone with no options for social fulfillment.
I read an article recently on loneliness by Jessica Olien in Slade Magazine who states that loneliness is a serious health risk. She writes, "loneliness is not just making us sick, it is killing us." She writes, "social isolation impairs immune function and boosts inflammation." Olien makes the point, which I agree with, that society does not readily talk about loneliness.
Who or what is to blame for a society where, per Olien, loneliness has doubled since 1980. What's happening? Is it the increase in screen time or has loneliness always been pervasive and just now someone has come up with a great tool to measure? I really don't know. I notice it more forcefully in the face of the retired and the elderly - mostly because I often encounter those who are retired or disabled. The retired, unless they have an active social schedule ,in my observation, are left searching for purpose, a sense of worth, and often fight against boredom.
The problem of loneliness, may in essence, be a societal problem. Maybe we forgot how to be a village and didn't notice the one left out and left behind. Maybe this is a personality issue - where some people lack social skills and others just don't want to be around them. Could it be that our nomadic tendencies have had the unintended consequence of humans feeling like they are islands unto themselves? I can go on and on.
What do the lonely do when they desire to reengage or just engage with others in the hope of fulfilling interactions and gain potentially fulfilling relationships?
Let's Try Some of these tips:
1. If you are religious / get involved in a church "small group"
2. Take on a volunteer project or volunteer job
3. Become a regular at your local gym
4. Make an effort to initiate conversations or when approached, respond and smile when talking
5. Initiate conversation. "Nice weather we are having" ... "Did you happen to see the nightly news ... Can you believe what happened in Toledo?"
6. Know and accept who you are and consider confidence building exercises. Being comfortable within your own skin can help you achieve your goals.
7. Consider psychotherapy for individual therapy as a way to work towards confidence building
"So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground." -- Oprah Winfrey
Article References:
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html
Kendra Cherry, "What You Should Know About Loneliness: Causes and Health Consequences of Feeling Lonely: Psychotherapy. Updated May 23, 2018. Posted in Very Well Mind.
https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749
